She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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