Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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