Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B

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(347): View more from New York

I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.

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(818): View more from California

Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business

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(602): View more from Arizona

So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.

(505): View more from New Mexico

The most literal cowgirl position ever.

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(847): View more from Illinois

It all started with a game of naked twister.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.

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