i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
