Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
