Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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