Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize