Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He felt like a one man threesome
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
