The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
