you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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