we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
