just come out here and I will go home with you...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
