non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
