Too much gin, very little bucket
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize