just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
