We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
