Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
