Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
