She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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