Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize