If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
