Will you blow on my dice?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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