Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
