very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
