suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
