My nipple is on Facebook.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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