I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
