So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
