brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
