I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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