She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
