C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
