Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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