Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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