I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
