youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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