the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
