so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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