if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
this just has baby written all over it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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