you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
