I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my being single is dangerous.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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