True but thats because hes a fetus.
Buhtt sex?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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