There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
