Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
