Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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