Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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