1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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