i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
