is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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