There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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