You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize