I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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