I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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