If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
