His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
