if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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