someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I sprained my soul last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize